Conflicts with Conservatism

I have always wondered what it was like to feel totally liberated from former beliefs that were so dearly held to be true, as in a matter of morality and salvation. I always imagined that I would never truly feel that way. Growing up in a conservative Christian home, I always believed that the people we were saving were the ones experiencing this ‘mind trip’ for changing their entire paradigm of cognitive thought possessing. You know the whole, “I am a sinner, now I’m free…I used to use profane language without thinking about it, I was given into drunkenness, I had sex with those I was in love with…” and so on. Up until recently I could only imagine what it was like to have such foundational and fundamental changes occur in one’s mind. But, now I believe I am beginning to understand.

In the last four years, I have seen the different side of the fence. I am referring to politics and to my conflicts with religion and to the extreme distaste of the way the Unites States Government has abused and crossed it’s own lines of religious separation, and how the religious right have warmly embraced the politics of their ‘savior’ and have blindly and openly called his war seeking policies and nation building tendencies to be doing the will of God.

I am neither anymore a republican nor am I neither a democrat, I am not an independent, or green, or whatever title you would choose to throw on me. I refuse to be defined by a word. Rather, if I was to be described by a phrase, I believe it would be ‘Imperfect follower of Jesus Christ.’ I can not in this day and age use the term Christian. That term has been so abused and so mis-understood that it is no longer an accurate term culturally to describe who I am and where my allegiance falls.

Now, having said that, I am also not at this time ashamed to be described by another phrase, “Supporter of Barack Hussein Obama”, and at this point I expect more than 85% of all my so called ‘Christian’ friends are currently thinking to themselves that I have left my faith entirely and am only living in a false reality, but have forsaken all sanity by following and placing my political hopes and aspirations in the hands of a Democrat/baby killer/sinner/Hitler feel a like/ over popularized Muslim black man. Only three of these descriptions are accurate about Barack, I’ll let you use your brain to figure it out.

There are very simple reasons that I have chosen to endorse Senator Obama, and for the record it should be noted that I have not, nor ever supported Senator Hillary Clinton or any other democrat in the history of my political awareness, so I am not jumping on the bandwagon of the Democratic Party.

One: The war. I was a very strong supporter in going after Bin Laden in the months after 9/11 and I was blinded by my patriotism to a party and to an idea, that I did not understand the problems and the fundamental issues that existed in my countries choice to go to war and kill this man, and the message of Jesus Christ. These two strongholds in my life have such opposite views; it is astounding to me how much conservative Christians allow the Unites States Government to do what it does, “In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost.” Jesus, according to the bible that I have, never endorsed war or violence of any kind, rather he taught how to effectively protest where no one was killed or harmed just affected and forced to see their errors. He preached about being confrontational not violent oppressors and haters of all things different. Hate the sin, love the sinner. I do not believe that as an “Imperfect follower of Jesus Christ,” I could ever endorse a war, unless you tell me who Jesus would kill. I have endorsed war before, but I do not now.

As a republican, and a very typical one at that, we were taught to hate gays and Muslims and any other county that does anything in a socialized manner. Just the mere fact that we, the People of the United States think that we are the top of the world, the best run country in the history of the world and the best at whatever it is we do…is such a complete arrogance and ignorant view of ourselves, it’s no wonder we are so blinded. My best example for this is the European Union. All those bordering countries who practically demolished each other for centuries, now have open borders and a fairly balanced idea of how their union is helping their economy and their people more and more. And, we the Arrogant of the Unites States can’t seem to get along and open ourselves to the two most passive countries in the world, Canada and Mexico. I’m not saying it’s an easy simple thing to have open borders, but I’m saying Europe make us look real shitty.

Another problem I have with the conservative right, is that it favors the rich. Jesus did not. The poor were his hero’s, as they are mine. I can think of no greater man alive today than Michael Nyangi. He’s a young man in Kenya, born into extreme poverty. He’s grown up and realized that he could help the poor get un-poor. He has taken steps to put himself in a place where he is daily on the front lines of the war against Human Rights Violations and Extreme Poverty, and World Hunger. He is not a rich man by the US standards, but he is extremely wealthy and rich in my eyes. I envy him. From the policies I have seen and heard, the Democratic Party is more focused on the middle class and the poorest of the poor in the US.

I could go on and on about the inconsistencies between the politics of the world and the politics of Jesus, but this is supposed to be a blog, not a book. In short, Jesus is not a democracy man. God is not a democracy God. There is no cabinet; the disciples were not in a democratic relationship with him, Jesus was the King…dictator, only voice of guidance. There was no second guessing his decisions or choices, and they were always right.

I realize that a nation cannot accurately run in this manner if the leadership is corrupt. There will be wars and there will be things that I don’t agree with. But I don’t have to endorse them either.

Dreams

I have so many dreams. I am very lucky and fortunate to have several of those dreams fulfilled. I have held the hand of those I have loved, I have kissed my bride, I have walked the ocean shores in three countries, I have dirt on my shoes from 39 states, Mexico, Canada, Jamaica, England and Kenya, I have made a movie that matters, I have written songs that matter, I have been a sound engineer for a professional band, I am doing what I love and getting paid for it, I have a college degree, I have seen my favorite bands live and I have played drums for thousands. Yet, I am not done dreaming and I am not done seeing those dreams fulfilled.

I was reminded the other day about another dreamer. I spent the last weekend on the road with the Chapmans. We played in Atlanta, somewhere in Alabama and finished up in Nashville, Tennessee at the historic Station Inn. On Wednesday I spent the day scouting for places to film a music video that I am doing in three weeks. Throughout the course of this day it became apparent to me that the residents of this particular region sill hold deep roots of racism that are prevalent in the South. This was particularly disturbing to me for obvious reasons and I honestly felt a little bit of the oppression and found it very hard to concentrate on the task at hand that day.

After the scouting was done, I headed back into Atlanta. I had some time to spare, so I decided to stop at the historic district where Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was born and laid to rest. There is a museum there that is not only dedicated to him but to the Civil Rights and Human Rights movement as a whole.

I would like to think that I would feel the way I did no matter what day I was there, but on this particular day, my senses were on sensory overload. I was feeling all these emotions of Jamaica and Kenya and the places I’ve spent time in were poverty and wealth live next door to each other, like St. Louis, Houston, NYC, London and Mexico…even parts of Springfield. Adding to that, it was Thursday, August 28^th…which is the anniversary of the “I have a dream speech” by King. And, that night Barack Obama was going to accept the nomination of the Democratic National Party for the Presidency of the United States. While many here do not share my affinity for Obama, this is irrelevant when it comes to the inherent historical value that lies within, and the blood that has been shed to achieve this goal.

The area of King’s memorial is in a particular part of town, that in all respects is still run down. This was my first observation as I pulled in and headed into the historical section. The next thing you notice as you enter into the parking area (which is free, as well as the museum) is that there are posted signs everywhere that remind you not to leave valuables where they can bee seen, but to move them to your trunk. That’s your fist clue that not all things are right.

As I entered into the museum, I noticed one thing right away, other than my friend Chris who was with me, I was the only white person in the museum…in fact the only white person I saw even walking around. This was very troublesome to me for some reason…perhaps more so just because my senses as I said were way on edge, but that’s just the way it was.

The first room I went into was a room dedicated to King’s last days on earth. I saw pictures of him standing on the balcony of the hotel, drinking his coffee and waving at passerbies. Then, there was a shot and he was on the ground and his blood was flowing. They had a picture of the man with him pointing in the direction where the shots were fired from. They showed him on the stretcher going down the stairs and then they showed his funeral. There was a visitation at one church, and then a few days later, he was transported to another church. His casket was placed in a wooden cart that was drawn by donkeys to represent the poor. The picture showed the streets filled with thousands upon thousands of people who followed the cart for miles as it went through town. By this point I had goose bumps all over my body and was getting very teary-eyed. To add to the mix, the cart was in the middle of the room. I touched it. It came alive to me. All the while, his “I have a dream speech” is playing in a loop over the speakers in the ceiling.

I’ve read about King since I was a little kid, but he was never so real to me as he was on Thursday. He was never as important to me as he was on that day. Sometimes books just don’t do it, and as hard as a history professor tries they can’t teach what you can see and touch and smell.

After I left that room, I wasn’t feeling all that well. I felt myself getting very sad and very overwhelmed with emotion. I made my way through the rest of it very quickly because I was seeing things I didn’t want to see. The last thing I saw was a picture of the KKK and of a lynching. I was sick and I was pissed. I all but ran out the door, not because I was ashamed, I know that I had nothing to do with it and I don’t feel responsible for what happened back then. But, I was feeling so overwhelmed because those ideas and those concepts are still present, and there is still so much work to be done.

I have family members who are racist, I have friends who are racist and it just really hurts. My wife accuses me of being racist at times toward white people because she sees that I hold it against them and disassociate myself from them, which is a form of racism, although not extreme. I do not mean to do this, but I suppose that as it is so vitally apart of who I am, I have a hard time being around or calling friends those who are racist. I think it’s just shallow. I understand where it comes from; it’s just that that in this day and age it just shouldn’t be happening. Yet, it is not only here, but all over the world. Look at Iran and Iraq and Pakistan.

I say all this to make one very simple point. Racism is alive and strong today. It’s found in the US, in the UK, in the members of the UN and everywhere. The only way to truly defeat it is to defeat it within you…To go out of your way and reach out to what is different from yourself and accept that different is not always bad or wrong, it’s just different.

“And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"